These are strange times for sure and all too often I’m finding myself overly concerned with the future and primarily its potential outworking for my kids. Most of which I have no way of controlling anyway; and yet these thoughts can end up taking up a big chunk of space in my mind and sapping me of energy.
I have no doubt the ‘background noise’ isn’t helping my sanity levels either. I don’t necessarily mean the television or playstation - (thanks teenage kids!) - but life’s relentless background noise.
The noise of…
…social media channels like Twitter - (I’ve deleted the app again!).
…worry for friends and family - it doesn’t help that I lost a dear friend to Covid-19.
…guilt; guilt of not being in touch with my family and friends as much as I feel I could/should.
…feeling helpless, stuck and as though I’m floating around in some weird parallel universe.
…feeling disconnected. Even though we have all this technology that helps us ‘connect’, I feel more disconnected that ever. I’m Zoom-ed out. Gosh I miss being able to hug a friend.
This all contributes to a din that just seems to be getting louder and louder. One that I’m finding increasingly difficult to tune out of. I end up flirting with hopelessness and wondering how this world, (that seems to have lost the plot), will ever find its balance again.
Oof! Not the most cheerful of posts I know. It's more a case of me dumping some clumsy thoughts in a clumsy time and hoping… hoping that I can keep a smidgen of hope alive.
At least for today anyhow.